My daily life is not glamorous. In the morning, I study
language in a classroom. In the afternoon, I study language at home.
Occasionally, I will practice what I have studied via painfully basic
conversations with people who possess a deep well of patience. I respond to
emails, work on budgets and write blogs. Every Sunday I go to church and maybe
understand a word here and there. The most exciting part of my average week is
deciding what to watch on Netflix during the weekend (we’re working our way through season three
of Elementary right now, if you must know).
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| This is the front entrance of our language school. We are especially grateful for the coffee cart right outside. |
I believe learning Khmer will be essential for any future
work I do in this country. However, learning language is not my primary reason
for coming to Cambodia. I want to help develop a training program for the growing
number of pastors in the Cambodia Baptist Union. I talk about language
acquisition as a means to that end, but I never talk about it as the primary
reason I am here.
In my experience in Cambodia or in other countries, I have
heard many fellow Christian cross-cultural workers say something along the
lines of, “I can’t wait to get out of language school so that I can get started
on ministry.” It’s not even uncommon for me to hear, “I dropped out of language
school early because I came here to do ministry, not sit in a classroom.”
The assumption behind these statements is that language learning is, at best, a means of achieving
successful ministry, and at worst, a distraction from real work. Whatever
language learning may be, it is not real ministry. I unconsciously endorse this
supposition with my words and actions often. But when I stop to reflect on the
assumption, I find it problematic.
Contemporary Christianity, especially in the US, undervalues
ministry preparation in favor of just doing something. The number of pastors
and leaders with seminary degrees is dropping. Churches are downsizing their
education programs. Adults in the church are less biblically literate than they
have been in many generations. Our culture tells us there is no time to stop
and prepare. Instead, we should find something to do, anything at all, and Just
Do It!
The apostle Paul spent as long as three years in the desert
preparing himself for his public ministry after his conversion (Galatians
1:15-18). Apollo, who was already having a rather successful ministry, stops to
receive training from Priscilla and Aquila, after which his ministry becomes
even more powerful (Acts 18:26). Even Jesus does not rush into his ministry,
waiting until he is around thirty to get started (Luke 3:23).
I struggle with a need to feel useful. I place so much of my
value in what I can do. Sitting in a classroom for another year (especially
given all those years I sat in classrooms during college and seminary) can be
hard to justify to myself some days. My culture values youth so much that I
wonder if I wasted my “prime” on preparing for stuff rather than actually doing
stuff. I have heard many American Christians express similar discomfort during
their times of preparation or waiting.
Cambodia forces me to face this question head on: am I
wasting my time in language school when I could get started on real ministry?
I believe that language learning is real ministry.
It’s not merely a means to ministry. Language learning done well is good, solid
ministry in and of itself.
What is ministry if not living life alongside people,
learning how they see the world, allowing yourself to be vulnerable with them,
all in order to display God’s love. As I learn language, I find
myself coming alongside Cambodians and understanding their perspective. Other people begin to see me as vulnerable and human. I hope that I never fail to see
and embrace all the ministries I have because of the fact that I am in the middle
of learning language.
I hope you too will learn to embrace the seasons of preparation and waiting that God calls you to. These are uncomfortable because they show us that we want to find our value in doing and accomplishing. There may come a time when your ministry is more active (just as I hope I can one day transition to a ministry here in which I am helping develop pastors more directly), but you may still be in the midst of good, solid ministry right now. How is God using you right in the middle of this season of preparation?
