Monday, May 18, 2015

IN-BETWEEN


A friend of mine took me on a “field trip” to Costco this past week because I had never been inside one. There were lots of good deals on things I normally buy—oranges, lunchmeat, blocks of cheddar cheese. Into our giant communal cart they went. Then there were things that were also a great deal but just impractical for our current life. There was no way our apartment with just one hall closet had room for a package of toilet paper the size of a Smart car, even if it was cheap.

Then there were other items I looked at that were on my normal grocery list. We were getting close to the bottom of our laundry detergent, and I checked out Costco’s big bottles at excellent prices per ounce. The problem wasn’t storage this time. The problem with the detergent was that when I calculated it, I realized we don’t have 150 laundry loads left in us. Not in the US at least.

Our target date for our move to Cambodia is October of this year. Up until recently that has seemed quite far away. It was a shift in January to stop saying “next year” but rather “this year” when people asked when we planned to leave. But it was the end of this year at least. It felt far away.

Yet, here we are. In the blink of an eye, it’s the middle of May. We are five months away from our target move date. It’s just far enough away to be out of reach, but close enough that it is starting to impact the way we structure future work events, make plans with friends and decide what size laundry detergent we buy. We are in a state of in-between.

We are realizing our time in Colorado is coming to a close—for now, at least—and we are getting serious about tackling our Rocky Mountain bucket list. Yet, I’m also busy at work planning and scheduling events into 2016—well past when we will be gone. We are downsizing possessions, but also investing even more heavily into relationships here and building new ones. We are preparing to leave, and we are also trying to be present.

David and I have both gone through many transitions before, and there are parts of our current season that are common to all transitions. Time almost always rushes by as you prepare. There’s always a tension between focusing on what’s in front of you and what’s coming. There’s excitement and there’s sadness.

So here we are. It’s the middle of May, and this Cambodia calling is starting to feel imminent. While we love it here in Colorado, we feel unmistakably called to Cambodia. So, for the next few months, we are trying to enjoy the reality of both.